The Unique Way of Hugging that can Improve Mental and Physical Health
Sami Wood meets up with a few strangers for a special get-together after every two weeks which she calls “cuddle puddle”.
Everyone lies comfortably between soft mattresses or blankets and hugs each other in a friendly way to feel comfort and love.
Sami, 41, lives in Bedford and is a professional cuddle therapist. She provides cuddle therapy to groups and individuals.
Sami believes that hugging someone not only makes you feel good but is also beneficial for your health.
She says that when you hug someone, your body releases the happiness hormone serotonin and the love and bonding hormone oxytocin.
Sami says that touch not only reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol but can also balance our nervous system.
Sami’s clients are often suffering from nervous system problems, PTSD, or loneliness.
“People often think that my service is only for weird men, but that’s not the case at all,” she says. “I have men and women of all ages.”
Pep Valerio, 36, from Bedford, has attended Sami’s “Cuddle Puddle” for the past few months.
“It’s a non-verbal healing process,” he says. “You don’t have to know what the other person is going through; you just know that your touch is going to comfort them.”
Sami explains that in group sessions, participants are asked to imagine certain emotional scenarios so they can feel the depth of the feelings.
She says this makes her emotional and that ‘we have seen men and women cry on each other’s shoulders many times.’
In one-on-one sessions, therapy is tailored to each person’s needs.
Sometimes it involves just sitting together and talking with an arm around each other, other times it involves lying down and holding each other in a comfortable way.
It also includes moments of calm, such as gently stroking the back or holding someone in your arms, which are intended to provide emotional support.
Someone may be surprised to learn that people pay for this type of therapy, but Sami explains that it is a “fully clothed, friendly and loving supportive session.”
To maintain a safe environment, Sami thoroughly screens each new client before the session and has them sign a consent form that clearly outlines boundaries.
“It’s all about the client’s choice,” says Sami. “They tell us what they want and what they are comfortable with. We are constantly communicating.”
She also acknowledges that sometimes physical contact can trigger sexual feelings, in such cases, she immediately stops the session or changes positions to bring the client’s attention back to the original purpose of the session: comfort and emotional support.
There is no official body for this type of therapy in the UK, but professionals like Sami can gain certification from the organization called Cuddle Professionals International (CPI).
The organization insists that its members learn the principles of ‘ethical touch’ and ensure informed consent is given at every session.
While many people in the profession maintain professional standards, it is still a sector where there can be potential for abuse or exploitation.
Sami says that if someone feels something has gone wrong during a session, they can report it to the police, local authority, or the CPI.
The CPI was founded by wellness expert Claire Mendelson, who said there was a dire need for discipline and guidance in this profession.
Sami saw in a documentary about cuddle therapy that people in other countries like this.
But she says that in the UK, people are shying away from hugging or touching each other.
She says this therapy is common in America and Europe, but not in the UK. Even though people need it here too. If not, why would people come to me?’
She adds, ‘We think we are connected online, but in reality, we are distant from each other.’
‘We are all looking for some kind of connection, some feeling, and if someone says, ‘I just need someone to support me, someone to hug me, to feel me and to help me come out of my emotional shell,’ then there is nothing to be ashamed of.’
Benefits of Hugging
Touch has a positive effect on our physical and mental health. This has been revealed in a study, by Danish neuroscientist Dr. Julian Peck Hizer and his colleagues. They say that whether we are touched by someone close to us or a doctor, both can have equal health benefits.
Professor Sophie Scott of University College London says that there are certainly benefits to touch, but it is also very important who is doing the touching.
She refers to another study: In this study, people were placed in a scanner and given physical pain. The brain responded to this pain. But when their close partner held their hand, they felt less pain.
There are chemical changes taking place in the body, when someone is yours, chemicals are produced in the body that provide comfort.
Sophie Scott says that it is not easy to form such a connection with a professional. We cannot all hug or hold hands with everyone.
For example, getting a haircut or applying nail polish is comfortable because there are parts of the body that are not sensitive.
But hugging or getting too close to someone can make some people feel awkward or unsafe.
However, many studies show that loving, safe touch has clear benefits for physical and mental health.
Valerio was trying to find peace of mind through various methods, such as ‘tai chi’ and ‘tapping’ when he came across ‘cuddle therapy’.
Sami has created an environment where soft music is played, and simple hugging exercises are done at the beginning so that people don’t feel shy.
“After doing these exercises, it feels completely normal to lie down on the floor and hug strangers,” says Valerio.
Sometimes people get emotional and start crying just during these exercises.
Valerio has also done one-on-one sessions with Sami, which he says create a deeper connection.
He says: ‘When I lie down with Sami and she hugs me, it feels like someone is holding me.’
Finally, he says, ‘I feel at peace, and it feels like my burden has been lifted and I feel more secure.’
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